Today, I have the pleasure of having Rebekah Hargraves, author of Lies Moms Believe, guest post on the blog today. While reading her book, I have been inspired to open my eyes wider to the tricks and schemes the enemy has that cause me to question my abilities as a mother. Mamas, we are believing lies.
Pure and simple.
We are constantly being fed the lies that we are not enough and that we are failing (amongst others). I have really enjoyed her book and would highly recommend it to any mother, future mother, or woman who ever looks after any child.
But, without further delay, please enjoy this guest post from Rebekah Hargraves. And a special thank you to Rebekah for sharing here today.
This post contains an affiliate link to purchase the book Lies Moms Believe. In addition, I received a copy of this book to review in advance. My opinions are my own.
Mamas, We are Believing Lies (But There’s Hope!)
“I don’t have time.”
“Mothering is unimportant work.”
“I can’t do this whole mothering thing.”
“I have to be the perfect mom or else my children will suffer.”
“Mommy guilt is just a part of life.”
“My identity and my ultimate fulfillment are to be found in motherhood.”
“I’m selfish if I have any me-time.”
“The ‘experts’ know better how to raise my child than I do.”
All of these – and more!- are lies we as moms are buying into these days (perhaps you recognize a few of these from having entertained them in your own mind!). The fact of the matter is that we as moms have lies coming at us from all directions – from the “experts”, the culture, even from our own families and churches. In the midst of all these voices is much confusion, for the myriad opinions thrown at us on a daily basis all differ from one another! Being a mom in our day and age can be downright bewildering!
In an effort to sort through all the opinions, the lies, the half-truths, and the wrong perspectives, we as moms only continue the problem when we jump to buy the latest parenting book or follow the biggest-name mommy blogger in our attempt to find the truth and make sense of it all. The problem is that we have forgotten something – even Christian moms have forgotten what our ultimate source of wisdom is. We have forgotten just how applicable and relevant God’s Word is to each and every challenge, question, struggle, or hardship we could ever face in life. We have forgotten that we need not look to man for our answers when we have 24/7 direct access to Almighty God Himself!
When it comes to our attempts to sort through all the lies we are bombarded with on a daily basis, we have to remember the heart of God. We have to remember the promise He gives in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Our God delights in providing us with the wisdom we need for our daily lives. We need only to ask for that wisdom!
Whether you are facing a hard trial as a mom and wondering how you are going to make it through, or you have a baby refusing to sleep at night or a toddler refusing to listen to you, ultimately the wisdom and help you need will be found in God’s Word and through communing with Him in prayer – not in a book containing the words of man. It isn’t that the Lord may not lead you to pick up a particular book or that you can’t be helped by someone else’s words, but the fact of the matter is that ultimate truth and wisdom that is free from error of any kind can only be found in the Bible. Direction for how to parent your children in a manner that will actually work for each of them will ultimately come from the One who designed them and formed and fashioned each of them into the unique people they are, with unique needs and personalities. The unique direction you need will not come from the parenting “expert” who does not know your children.
Am I Really Believing Lies?
In all this talk about lies that moms are believing, you may be wondering if this even applies to you. Maybe you can see right through the lies listed at the beginning of this article. Perhaps you feel that you have a good handle on truth and understand God’s perspective for motherhood. Maybe you are already well-trained in “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Even if you are (and I pray that does describe you!), you are still an infallible human being, just as I am, and are therefore susceptible to lies from the enemy. And here’s the sobering part – oftentimes, Satan succeeds in getting us to believe lies which are so subtle and so clever that we don’t even recognize them as lies! Make no mistake – the sobering reality is that you are believing lies about your motherhood right at this very moment.
Satan’s modus operandi for deceiving us is getting us to believe lies without even realizing that’s what we’re doing. When I was working on my book Lies Moms Believe (And How the Gospel Refutes Them), I invited ladies on Instagram and Facebook to send in what they would say are the biggest lies they have been believing in their journey of mothering. When I first read some of the lies they submitted, I didn’t think they were ones I shared – I didn’t think I had ever believed those particular lies myself. What was eye-opening was how, as I set to work studying the Word and addressing each of those lies, I found that I had, in fact, been believing them and didn’t even know it! As I came to discover, that is precisely how Satan operates – he cunningly deceives us into believing clever little lies that he has packaged up all pretty and camouflaged as truth. He doesn’t attach to a lie a glaring neon sign that says, “Warning! Warning! This is a lie! Don’t believe it!” That would completely go against his mission to blind and deceive us! And yet we so often mistakenly think that we will notice and recognize his lies right off the bat.
Is the Truth Setting You Free?
This is why it is so crucial that we repeatedly harken back to the Word of God. We have to be in the Bible on a daily basis, seeking to study and know it more and more if we are ever going to be able to recognize and reject Satan’s lies. Bank tellers who can spot counterfeit bills are able to do so because they know what a real dollar bill looks like. It is the same for us – if we know the truth, it is then and only then that we will begin to grow in our ability to spot lies wherever we come into contact with them.
The verse which served as the backbone for my book project was John 8:32, where Jesus says: “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” The implication of this verse is that we are in bondage. In order for the truth to make us free, we must be enslaved to something. And it is not merely eternal bondage being referred to in this verse – John 8:32 is not primarily dealing with the Gospel truth of salvation and the doctrine of how one is saved. Jesus is referring here to His truth freeing us from bondage in the here and now, as well – freeing us from bondage to Satan’s lies. We know this to be what Jesus has in mind here, because verse 32 was not spoken to folks who were not yet saved. It was spoken, according to verse 31, to those who were already Christ’s disciples: “Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed.”
The truth of the matter then, is that even if we are eternally set free, saved by the blood, and looking forward to an eternity in Heaven, forever free from the bondage of sin, guilt, and death, we nevertheless can be in bondage in the here and now. We can find ourselves in bondage to lies if we are not fighting back against them with the truth of God’s Word.
Look to the Word, Mama!
Take heart, sweet mama! In this talk of lies from both the culture as well as the church, pervading confusion, bondage to varying voices, conflicting perspectives, and Satan’s deceptions, we can be tempted to despair. We can feel as if there is just so much confusion out there that we will never be able to walk the road of motherhood with any kind of clarity, unwavering truth, clearness of mission, or help for the journey. Do not buy into this lie, mama! Our God has fully equipped and prepared you for this high calling of motherhood, providing you in His Word with everything you could ever need in order to walk out this journey well, with purpose, vision, joy, and direction. Look to Him! He will never let you down.
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” ~2 Timothy 3:16-17
“Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.” ~Galatians 5:1
Bio: Rebekah Hargraves is a wife, mama of two littles, home business owner, podcaster, and blogger residing in TN. Her passion is to bless fellow Christian women through her writings on her website, Hargraves Home and Hearth, which exists to “edify, equip, and encourage women in their journey of Biblical womanhood”. Rebekah’s first book, “Lies Moms Believe (And How the Gospel Refutes Them)”, releases in November.
Facebook: Hargraves Home and Hearth
Website: Hargraves Home and Hearth